Monday, December 31, 2012

The Front Side of Fifty

This may be a dangerous day for folks in my neighborhood.  I doubt they even suspect.  And things unexpected are always the most perilous.

The fire department should be warned and the hospital alerted.

Someone might be playing with fire.

It's quite possible that my wife may bake a cake for me today.  She may decide to plunge waxed wicks into chocolate and ignite their tips.  People sometimes do that on birthdays.  But mine is a fire hazard.

The cake, you see, must be huge to hold all those candles.  Add to that bulk the weight of frosting and wax and serving dish and it's a disaster in the making.  A hernia waiting to happen.  A horror writer's delight.

With fire extinguisher in hand and buckets of water by my feet, I'll wait.  Just in case...

And thus begins the last year I'll live on the front side of fifty.  This time next year, God willing, I'll be half a century old. :::shudders:::

And because it's my birthday, I'll ask you to grant me one wish.  It's one that each and every one of you can grant.

My birthday wish is simply this:

Celebrate the coming New Year to your fullest, but please, do so responsibly and safely.  You are loved too much by too many to do otherwise.

The continued presence of those we love is the greatest birthday present we can have.  Make sure you're around to be that present.

Happy New Year!

34 comments:

  1. I hope you have a happy birthday and a happy New Year!

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    1. Thanks! And a safe and happy New Year to you as well!

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    1. I appreciate that, Imogen! Just having another birthday makes me happy. ;-)

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  3. Happy Birthday, Jeff, and Happy New Year!

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    1. Thanks, Kyra! May your New Year be happy and safe too!

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  4. Oh Jeff a very happy birthday to you. You are a definitely a man who lives sharing with others. May the "next half" let you see the blessing harvests of your life tenfold.

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    1. Thanks, Julie! I'll be happy if the "next half" just lets me see! LOL

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  5. Jeff! Wow - a New Year's Eve baby. What? Your mother couldn't hold out any longer for a chance to win a new car? "GET THIS OUT OF ME!"

    Happiest birthday wishes! The happiest wishes anyone in Blogdom can bestow...let's see the others try and fail.

    But no wonder I've been feeling so old, what with hanging around you and Julie. I've got YEARS ahead of me before hitting that half-century mark. I'm trying to Benjamin Button it.

    Happy Birthday, Jeff. I'll listen in on the scanner for combustion alerts. :o)

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    1. Dad wanted the tax deduction. Mom just wanted it done. (I got an early start at being late.)

      You'll be safe hanging with us until you start checking the fiber content of your cereal and getting others to hold the newspaper so you can read it. ;-)

      I'll give the Benjamin Button thing a try! And thanks for the grandest of birthday wishes!

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  6. Happy birthday, sir. I still haven't figured out how you can write nonfiction blog posts that sound like prose.

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    1. Many thanks, Patrick. I'll clue you in...once I've figured it out myself. ;-)

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  7. Today is your birthday? Happy birthday then! You're one year ahead of me - let me know what fifty is like before I hit it.
    I can grant you that wish because I never go anywhere on New Year's Eve and spend it playing games with my wife. May not sound exciting to some, but it's the best way I know how to spend the last few hours of the year. (Besides other things which will go unmentioned...)
    Have a great New Year's Eve birthday!

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    1. Today's the day! You do realize you're asking a lot of me, wanting me to remember something, right? And there is no better way to spend any hours than with the one you love, whether details can be mentioned or not. LOL Happy New Year, Alex!

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  8. I had to bribe the Ancestors to smoke the Internet gods big time so they give me enough signal to display one single page today. They heard me out and from the corners of a very tiny town dragon came to wish you a very happy birthday and a grrrrreat New Year. Our bet stands for next year when we readjust calendars. :D Dwarves made you a singing card, they're wearing the cheerleaders customs they made just for you and they're making their best performance of the Hippos Ballet in Fantasy. Don't blame me. I had nothing to do with that. I'll pay for the psychological therapy you'll need after you see them and get nightmares of hairy legs for weeks. In the bright side, you'll also get an invitation to the Dwarf Tossing Championship with the best of the dragon league. ;) Bless be, my friend.

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    1. I hope the Ancestors didn't require too high of bribe price. And instead of seeing valiant hobbits scaling mountains, I now see them lined like chorus girls parading around a Las Vegas stage. Therapy may indeed be needed. But who can resist appreciating such cheerful, well-meaning dwarves?

      I've come to the conclusion that our calendars were correct all along. They were simply misinterpreted, like that of the Mayans.

      I appreciate the well wishes, Al. Truly. Have a splendid time in that very tiny town! May it be a wonderful start to a splendid New Year.

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  9. Birthday wish granted. Happy Birthday Jeff and may you live to see many more. There will be a point in my life when my age will be written by two plastic numbers and no more than ten representative candles on the cake. I'm 28 right now so I think I'm safe but at 40, I'll have to see a sample cake to decide if it's time to drop the amount of candles on the cake. Also enjoyed how you turned a birthday cake and candles into a post of dangerous hilarity.

    Have a great New Year.

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    1. Great! I love it when my birthday wishes are granted. (I really don't make that many.) I do, however, fear the numbered candles. They have a way of getting transposed, "94" instead of "49" as though life has played a cruel joke on me. LOL Enjoy your years Sheena, each one is priceless, yet worth more than the one before. (And I'm glad you liked my hilarity!)

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  10. Age 50 is your opportunity to start counting backwards--but why wait? It'll just get you to teenagedom one year sooner. :)

    Lauren

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    1. I think that's an excellent idea, Lauren! I wonder if I can get away with it? Happy New Year to you!

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  11. Happy birthday, from one Jeff to another. And that's a great wish, thank you!

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    1. It's a wish most sincere, Jeff. And thanks for the birthday wishes.

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  12. Happy Birthday!
    I wish you many more birthdays and many more happy new years!

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    1. Thanks, Carol! I LOVE the added "many" in there! I'll do my best to make both happen. May your New Years be happy as well.

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    1. Thank you, Rob! It was indeed a good one. (At my age, all birthdays are good ones! LOL)

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  14. Happy (belated) birthday, and happy new year, too! ~\o/~

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    1. Thanks, Heather! And a happy New Year backatcha!

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