Perhaps I'm still dealing with the grief from the loss of my mother-in-law, but I can't help thinking about the grief and losses to come in the future. I've been married for 28 years, well over half my life, and I can't really fathom--let alone prepare myself for--the heartaches ahead.I still have the fortune of having a happy, healthy mother in my life. She's 70 now. She may have decades ahead, but I know--barring my death coming first--that it's coming. And so is the devastation such loss brings.
My wonderful wife has a few years on me, but with average lifespans being what they are, it's an even bet which of us will have to endure that unbearable sorrow. My selfish half wants to pass first and avoid what will likely be the most devastating period of my lifetime. My selfless half wishes the opposite to spare my wife from that very same thing.
And then there are my children to consider. My greatest fear has always been having to bury my son or daughter. No parent should have to endure that. I know some who have and I can't help but wonder how they find the strength to carry on.
I have grandchildren now, three wonderful boys. I hope to see them grow, graduate and have children of their own. God willing, I'll be able to do that.
I guess the point of this post is simply to say that the time to cherish--and remember--loved ones is while they're still with us, when they can can know and return that love. Time is short. Love endures. Make your time count. Exercise your love muscle so that its love will be ever stronger.
Great post! I completely agree. Condolences on your mother-in-law's passing.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Liesel. She was a fine woman who accepted me for who I was, watched me grow as a husband and father and for some reason always held me in a special place in her heart. We guys like to joke about mother-in-laws, but when you find a good wife (*and* good in-laws) you've found a very good thing.
DeleteSorry to hear about your loss. This has been a rough year around here with the death of a child in a close friend's family, so I can relate to these fears. 10 out of 10 people die, and we all know it, but there's just no way to prepare for it. We just have to do the best with each minute we have with our loved ones. Thanks for the reminder.
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome. This wasn't really a writing post, but I felt a need to post it anyway. A friend of mine at work lost her college-aged daughter just days before Christmas. Here we are almost seven months later and I still can find no words of comfort. Sadly, there probably aren't any.
DeleteMy father passed away in 2007, and I think about him most days. My wife's father passed away when she was eight, and she talks about him to our daughters on a regular basis. The best man at our wedding passed away less than a year after the event, and I'd had the honor of being his best man. I'm saddend that my daughters never got to know him.
ReplyDeleteThose we've come to know and love, we miss, but I firmly believe that we'll all be together after our passing. That makes a huge difference for me.
In any case, hang in there. It's not easy, but losing loved ones cannot be avoided.
Yes, they say the only things certain in life are death and taxes, and you can evade taxes. My wife and I both lost our fathers within three weeks of each other. (Both were hospitalized concurrently for over three months.) It was an incredibly difficult time for both of us on many levels.
DeleteMy wife (as well as myself) was unusually close to her father; he was a gentle man with a golden heart. With my father, the responsibility fell on me as the oldest child to make the decision to terminate life support. It's like playing God in the worst way possible.
But death is indeed certain. And whether it's ours or someone we love, we must make every moment count.